Friday, January 13, 2012

Is it a boy or is it a girl…

In the days where you still day dream of being pregnant one day and you think about having a little boy or girl, you tend to be more excited about one of the two. Or you think, maybe it should be better to first have a girl and then a boy, or visa versa. Since I was a little girl, I always dreamed about having a little boy. I will literally climb trees with him, build tree houses, catch fish with him, join him on a crazy, scary fun ride at an entertainment park or join him in a paintball game. But then I also feel like I would miss out on all the fun, girly stuff… like dressing my little princess, curling her hair, sprinkling her with fairy dust, helping her decorate her doll house…

It’s funny how your perspective changes as soon as youre pregnant… These little preferences take a back seat, and all I can think about now is having a healthy child – no matter if it’s a boy or a girl. 

When it gets to stuff like buying clothes, before you know what the sex is, could be quite challenging. White, beige, yellow and green baby clothes are just not as cute as the little bright blue, or bright pink outfits. Some days I think not knowing what we are expecting is a blessing in disguise, as I would have been broke by now if I had known what to buy! Shopping for a baby is so much fun!!!

Hopefully with our next visit to the doctor, we will be able to see what the sex of our little bundle is! Actually, I wouldn't mind not knowing – it would be a wonderful littlesurprise for us when it is born. My husband however, really wants to know and I know that he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. I have a suspicion  about the sex of the baby – but hey, obviously I have a 50% chance of being right or wrong, so I’ll just keep to myself. I will definitely let you know if my intuition was right! 

I love it when people guess whether it will be a boy or a girl, so go ahead… we have a few days left to play this little fun game… Lets see who is right!!!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Big news...

Well, I guess it's about time to blog about the wonderful changes happening 
in me and my husband's life at the moment…

I am 15 weeks pregnant!!!

The pregnancy experience is different for everyone. The day I found out about my pregnancy, the word "overwhelming" didn't exactly express how I really felt. 

When I went for the blood test, I felt like a naughty teenager buying something really embarrassing. I even leaned over the counter to whisper to the receptionist that I am there for a pregnancy test – scared that people might hear my reason for visiting Pathcare. How silly can one be?

And while waiting for the test, I was overwhelmed by an extreme desperation for a positive result, a feeling I never though I would ever feel so intensely. I guess this is when nature takes over, preparing you for motherhood. At the same time I started thinking about other women who have trouble falling pregnant. How extremely sad they must feel? Not even talking about the frustration and desperation – all adding up, bit by bit. There is no form of medication for that type of pain. I have so much more respect for all the woman who are in the "family planning" stage of their lives. This is when you realise how blessed you really are.

When I parked my car in front of Pathcare, this wonderful woman who assisted me earlier the day, waited for me in the doorway with the results in her hand. She was smiling and I thought to myself… Can it really be? For a few minutes she was my best friend and we jumped, cried, laughed, hugged each other. How amazing is that? This complete stranger being so happy for me. 

When I got back to my car, I had to actually think about how to drive it. How do you concentrate on any thing else when you know that you are pregnant? The drive home felt extra long, and I couldn't wait to break the news to my husband! But how do you tell your hubby that you are pregnant? I wanted it to be special and when I got home I pretended that every thing was normal. And while he took a shower I wrote him a letter from his unborn child. First he seemed very confused when he started reading the letter, but when he got to the words "nine months" he clicked and his facial expression at that specific moment was an expression I will never forget… complete, utterly, extremely happy and already in love.

How overwhelming we feel about the fact that a little human being is growing inside my stomach, is indescribable. 

The amount of love we already have for this little person we haven't even met yet, is indescribable. 

Being so blessed to be pregnant, is indescribable.

This moment is when a complete different type of love awakens inside of you…

And this moment is indescribable!