Dear Tony...

I read our last bbm messages to each other… You are congratulating Sarel and I on our wedding anniversary, and also telling me how special that day was for you, as you met Jorika there. I feel the need to watch our wedding video again, just to hear your voice once more, as photographs just aren't enough. And even though I am very sad, seeing you in that video makes me laugh…
 
I sit and look back at the past year and a few things makes a little bit more sense now...
 
Since I met you in 2006, and as René introduced us, you made me feel like I have been one of your best friends – like we have known each other since childhood. You made everyone feel so good, so special, so unique. Another thing that amazed me was the fact that you could have fun with anyone, anywhere. I remember a thought that popped up in my mind… You are ALWAYS so much fun! One never had one dull moment spending time with you. Even if you were in another room your laughter would make every one feel so much closer together.
 
One of your most beautiful characteristics were the fact that every one was equal in your eyes, and I really loved that about you. I will always remind myself to be a little bit more like "Tony". Even though you were crazy about fancy, fast cars, materialism didn't exist to you. You could have a blast from a shack in Khayelitsha to a mansion in Constantia, and every one would have been equal and evenly loved in your eyes. Tony, each and every one who crossed your path learned so much from you. I think that each and every one feels so blessed… Even though you are our guardian angel now, you were a true angel here on earth…
 
I never thought that our paths would grow so close or that you would ever spend time with my very afrikaans family as if you are one of us. I couldn't really imagine it… a Spaniard and a South African Weskus mix just sounded too weird… But it was such a joy and privilege! Well, let me tell you, the Weskus english vocabulary really improved quite a bit this past year. We had a few lekker giggles. Especially when the women couldn't figure out how to greet you… "Hy soen mens op altwee wange?" …they always used to say with a very confused expression on their faces. There are so many moments which leaves us with a warm smile, but at the same time, the feeling of how huge our lost is... Each member of our family loved you dearly Tony, and we will never forget the moments we shared together.
 
I hope that in this past year your life was filled with real family love, real friendship love and real true love…
 
We love you, and miss you. Always.
 
You were one AWESOME person!

Our little angel...

I am just past the halfway mark and guess what… Our little angel has started to kick! Well, obviously she has been kicking away for quite a while, but the little flutters has turned into obvious thuds. This feeling is so amazing! I have to admit that this stage of my pregnancy is much more fun. The nausea is completely gone (super yay!). To actually feel something inside you is a constant reminder that you are carrying a little precious gift within you. This might sound funny, but before now I had to constantly remind myself that I am actually pregnant – because you can't really see a big bump yet and I couldn't feel any movement inside me. In the beginning it just feels like gas bubbles moving around in my tummy. Now I know that it had nothing to do with gas at all… ha ha!!!

At our last scan, the doctor captured a lovely image of her face. I can't stop looking at it! I am really super excited to see her, to hold her, to kiss her little face… I constantly wonder if she will look like me like my husband? The doctor did say that she has lovely curves… Well, she won't be getting that from me ;)

In the end, nothing matters more than her health. Seeing how excited our parents are about their first grandchild… she will definitely be showered with a lot of LOVE.